Monterey, California: In what can only be explained as a tragedy, the Rolex Grand-Am Series has lost their Magic 8-Ball. The Magic 8-Ball that has been a staple in Race Control, and was discovered missing by Race Control head Paul Walter
"The thing that sucks is we REALLY wanted to give John Pew a penalty for diving under Mike Hedlund" Walter said "But with no Magic 8-Ball we let it go."
One team owner said "Oh man now maybe they'll call a fair race.....meh I'm sure they'll get another one at Big Lots! or something"
With inconsistency being a consistent factor with all the series, Grand-Am wanted to be on par with IndyCar. "We know Beaux Barfield is trying out his Magic 8-Ball, we like to think we inspired him" Walter said.
Just when the new 8-Ball will arrive is unknown, but when it comes back, the competitors will have comfort. "Ya, not having an 8-Ball makes me worry, imagine the implications of a human mind taking in the fact of driver safety" one driver of the Magnus Porsche said.
In other Grand-Am news, The Racers Group has found a way to expand their "Pay to Drive!!!!" Initiative. The Kevin Buckler owned squad has picked up eBay payment assistance company PayPal as a sponsor.
"For the 2014 Rolex 24 at Daytona PayPal, has agreed to wave fees of gentleman drivers wanting a ride in of our 6 Porsche 911's" Buckler went on to say "It's a great program I hope we can expand that to running 7 Porsches." 20 drivers have already signed up.
-Ross Fujibayashi
This article for satire purposes only and not to be used as factual information -Editor
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