Holmatro Safety Vehicle Deemed Unsafe

Indianapolis, Indiana - The Holmatro Safety Team, the traveling team of doctors and personal of the Indycar Series, is taking some heat (literally) following a recent debacle. The state-of-the-art safety vehicle used by the team was found Friday morning in a pile of ashes. Investigators have conclude vehicular spontaneous combustion may be to blame. No one was in the vehicle at the time, nor were there any witnesses to confirm what happened. "It's something that doesn't happen too often, but vehicles to combust spontaneously more often nowadays," said one investigator.

Indycar CEO Mark Miles issued a statement and answered some questions from the media. "We are looking into every angle as to why the vehicle combusted and if it is a safe vehicle to use," he said. When asked how it looks on the Indycar Series when the safety vehicle is deemed unsafe, "It is an unfrotunate circumstance. But we are sure this will never happen again."

Now that the current amount has been deemed unsafe, Indycar is scrambling to have a new vehicle ready by Sonoma next weekend. Hopefully it makes it through the weekend unscathed. Honda may issue a recall on the other safety vehicles. A lawsuit may ensue.

-Matthew Hickey

This article is intended to be satire and for humor purposes only and not factual information -editor